The Travels of Bear Jesus

Ski Day

2009-03-22T06:25:00.000-07:00

It is finally ski day! I am so excited. Frig took me gear shopping and I had a custom board AND custom skis made. They are awesome!

We loaded the car and headed up early. I was really excited and didn't even let Frig finish her coffee. Here we are arriving at the ski resort, Keystone:Wow, gearing up takes a long time. After several adjustments I was finally ready to board! Here I am catching a ride!

The ride was great ride, but I narrowly missed that tree. That would have been somewhat painful and wet. I decided to switch to skis.

Frig caught me in action. Here I am near the top:

....and zooming by Frig and my adoring fans who stopped to watch:And....at the bottom of the hill! Skiing and Boarding are awesome! It helps to be somewhat holy and avoid all that troublesome falling!

Definitely worth the trip to CO!

Weekdays 9-5 or 5-whenever....

2009-03-22T06:19:00.000-07:00

Hey There! Bear Jesus here to give a little update on my CO stay. I've had a pretty quiet week or so while we plan for our upcoming ski trip. I was getting a little bored, so I asked Frig to take me to work and show me around. It took 4 days before she had even a small chance to let me look at her cube. No wonder everyone grumbles about work. Very bad idea, this work stuff. I didn't stay long. Here I am:

Shopping and Miracles

2009-03-08T15:03:00.000-07:00

Hello from sunny CO. It snowed last night, so I was hoping to get some skiing in, but only a few flakes fell and it was warm and windy all day. I had to settle for shopping. It's Frig's birthday today, so I was good with humoring her. I have to tell you though--I never thought I'd meet someone who liked purses as much as my Mom. If she was rich, she'd have a whole closet. Here I am in Frig's new purse. It was made of nice, nice leather--very soft and comfortable. I stayed there awhile. It felt good.
Since I am visiting, Frig decided to try to combine my saving powers with birthday luck. We picked up some scratch tickets and a Powerball ticket. Frig has no idea what she's doing with this Powerball stuff. Here I am blessing the tickets.
Ok, I tried my luck with Flying Aces. Sadly it was a bust.

I was just warming up. I moved on to Barrel of Monkeys. I know I can get her a winner here.

Crap, I busted again. Ok, I'll really get it right this time! 7*11*21. I like 11 and 21. I'm feeling lucky.

Well hell, I guess I'm going to have to work on this for a few days (maybe get a luckier quarter) and put all my woof-like powers into the Powerball Jackpot.......

....now about that ski trip...that should be coming up soon.

I have arrived!

2009-03-07T11:02:00.001-08:00

In so very many ways.

I escaped the evil clutches of DJB, thanks to NNBM, my favorite person now.

I also (about time) have my own Holy Fan Crusade Club (or something) on Facebook. NNBM put some really awesome pictures of me up there.

I am now safely in the hands of Frig and am looking forward to our mountain adventures.

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Woof! The Ursine Savior has arrived!

2009-03-07T10:53:00.000-08:00

Well, here I am at my new destination. Frig let me out of the box right away. I gloried in fresh air and showed her all my souvenirs. She was pretty busy on the first day. Kept muttering about needing a maid and getting things cleaned up so she could take me out and show me around this place called CO.

I decided to give her a hand.

That was exhausting. At least she cheated and took the baking out of the freezer. I'm really starting to get thirsty.

She let me rest near Buddha. We had a nice long chat and caught up on the last 2000 years while she cleaned the carpets.Next I met this cute dog, but she made me nervous, so after a quick photo op, I went back to the kitchen to hang out.

I did find the wine, but it's not afternoon yet. I don't understand this rule of no wine in the morning. It is a holy drink. I will have to talk this over with father later. I settled for a glass of water. Don't tell her, but I turned it into wine before I drank it.
Ok, I am so tired from all this domestic activity, I am taking a nap while she goes to meet some friends. I really need to talk to Dad about getting her a maid. I'll be back later.

Seriously people

2009-02-02T14:21:00.001-08:00

South Carolina is not only So Gay, it So Sucks for holy artifact fun and adventure.

I'm dying of boredom. Someone save me. I will reward you with...uh...just fucking get me out of here. Anywhere.

The Lich King can bite my holy, salty ass

2008-11-17T19:45:00.000-08:00

Get. Me. Out.

i talked to my dad

2008-10-19T20:40:00.000-07:00

he was like, they better let you out of your box, or i'm going to get some old school wrath and vengeance going on.

seriously

2008-10-18T07:14:00.001-07:00

help me

shhh don't tell them i'm posting

2008-10-13T14:04:00.001-07:00

i arrived in a new place a few weeks ago

the weirdo here will not let me out of my box

help

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Bear Jesus takes part in two pagan rituals!

2008-07-27T22:57:00.001-07:00

Okay, so I am obviously not on the net much or this would have been posted sooner. Here is a montage of some of the things Bear Jesus has been doing this summer. Unfortunately, some of the photos of his latest road trip are lost in the Bermuda Triangle of digital photos. I shall endeavor to find them before the next post.

So far BJ has participated in two pagan rituals - Beltane and a Fire Rite. The Fire Rite was a day long series of rituals to aid in calming the many wildfires rampaging through Northern California.

At the Beltane ritual Bear Jesus was honored to take the role of the god for the ceremonies.

After he proudly took his place on the altar, the ritual commenced.

As part of his duties for the ceremony, BJ was asked to bless the ancestral offerings.

One of the offerings got a little frisky and managed to mount BJ.

Then he was to aid the coven members in fulfilling the blessings we asked for by setting fire to them.

Our Ursine Saviour had a great time performing his duties, and was only disappointed that he did not get to perform The Great Rite.
________________________________

At the more recent Fire Rite, Bear Jesus was again a participant. Before we began, BJ paid special honor to the Green Man, and asked him to bless the ritual with success.

Bear Jesus gave the rituals a power boost by adding his energies to those of the coven members. Here is a shot of BJ on the altar.

In the section of ritual dealing with fire, Bear Jesus attempted to sacrifice himself.

We assured him this was not necessary and plucked him from the cauldron.

Freshly saved, BJ tried to perform another miracle by turning water into wine.

Which didn't quite work out this time. (But Bear Jesus was successful in resurrecting a cat named Vlad earlier this summer. You see, I got a call that my friend's cat had been hit by a car and she was going to have a burial for him before she had to go to work. So I rushed over to support her, and BJ was along for the ride. We had just got everything set up for the funeral. The hole was dug, offerings placed, the deceased wrapped in a blankie and soft music playing in the background when.... Vlad walked right into the middle of the grave site and began cleaning himself. There are no photos of the miracle, as is usually the case, but we continue to thank Bear Jesus to this day. Long live Bear Jesus, Patron Saint of Dead and Undead Black Cats!)

The Fire Rite continued throughout the day and was a very positive experience. BJ took some time at the end to thank the goddess and god (symbolized by the figurine and dragon behind him) for their aid and the circle was opened.

We ended the evening by gathering in the hot tub for a rain chant. Bear Jesus wanted to join us, and after a few modifications he jumped right in!

He may have needed help getting back out, but he sure enjoyed his first dunking!

(Just so you know, he was double bagged for this adventure. So be sure to protect him if you try this at home!)

Next up, BJ helps out at a yard sale and takes a road trip to Reno!

Bear Jesus Saves, Everyone Else Takes 5d6 Damage

2008-05-20T23:00:00.001-07:00

After recovering from a little too much sun at the Championship, Bear Jesus was ready to take on the world. Or at least the imaginary one of the Dungeons and Dragons universe. He joined several members of the Napa Valley Role Playing Guild, as well as a few other gamers, for a night of mayhem, madness and wanton destruction. The game is a regular one and the party was a little nervous to be in such singular company. Naturally, BJ tried to persuade us to let him be Dungeon Master. He argued he was the most naturally qualified for the job. And he promised not to kill us (something our regular DM would never do).

Although presented with such an opportunity to see a true Master at work, our intrepid DM chose to forgo that option. After all, this was his turn to play god. Next, BJ tried to play an Epic Level character. Specifically, the Risen Martyr Prestige Class from the Book of Exalted Deeds. Bear Jesus had his hopes up, because he really wanted to use the big dice.

Alas, he was again told no. He was going to have to play a character of equal standing to the group. Otherwise, there might be some ganging up by the party members to "take care" of him in game.

Unfortunately, we are all levels 3-5. And new players start at the current lowest player level. So Bear Jesus was going to end up playing a piddly Level 3 Cleric. This did not make our venerated guest happy and the minis were cowering in fear on the battle mat.

But BJ rolled a natural 20 on his Diplomacy Check! The minis stopped their quaking, and our illustrious DM graciously allowed Bear Jesus to play an NPC (non-player-character). He would be a higher level than the rest of us, but wouldn't earn any XP (experience points).

The game went on and everyone began to relax around BJ. He provided incalculable assistance and helped raise the party's morale.

By the end of the gaming session, Bear Jesus had really developed a fondness for the Dice. So he decided to talk to his Dad about this method of determining fate. I can only assumed he did so the next time he prayed. Have you been hearing the sound of dice rolling lately?

Next up, a story of BJ's first real miracle and Beltane ritual (no, they did not happen together). In the meantime, sit back, relax and enjoy a nice glass of your favorite wine.

Bear Jesus in Wine Country

2008-05-19T21:36:00.001-07:00

So, my sister Nicole is one of the folks who started this whole thing. I have been looking forward to showing Bear Jesus a few of the things we do for fun out here. (Please keep in mind myself and my friends are all deviant geeks who love to play make-believe.) So, BJ has finally made it to my place in beautiful Napa Valley. While visiting, a few of the things God's Own Cub will participate in: the Vinhold Baronial Championship, a wine tasting, much Dungeons and Dragons role-playing, and a Beltane ritual.

Let's start with the Vinhold Baronial Championship, held this past April at Kennedy Park in Napa. First, BJ had to sign in and pay his site fee. Of course, this being Bear Jesus and all, his site fee was graciously covered by others.

Oh yeah, since the theme for this year's Championship was "Viking Raid!", BJ is sporting a lovely, handmade, shiny Viking Helmet. Which was harder to make than it might look, since he's a little, well, flat. Let's just say much duct tape was involved.

While visiting with the Constable, Bear Jesus got to learn a new pirate game called "Shut the Box".

Unfortunately, he won. Several times. The Constable was not happy.

Rest assured, BJ came away unscathed. The Constable would never truly hurt him. Unless he had a campfire and no fire extinguisher, or the fire wasn't at least 12" off the ground, or many other valid reasons for the Constable to be unhappy.

Here are a few of the wonderful Vinhold Scadians who had the honor of meeting and touching Bear Jesus.

The Lovely Alianora of Prymrose

Enchanting Aurelia de Montfort

and the Sensual Collette de Navarre

BJ got to participate in most of the activities that day. He helped the winning team in the Siege Cooking competition. His aid was, of course, essential to their win.

Bear Jesus helped set up the pigs for the Pig Spearing Contest.

And got to take an honorary shot at spearing one of the porcine offenders. It was a little surprised that Bear Jesus would spear it there. (Note: no actual pigs were harmed in any way, other than the ones we had as bacon at breakfast.)

And finally, BJ was witness to most spectacular event - the Great Fight Between James, Bearon of Vinhold and The Purple Sparkly Unipig of Doom! Unfortunately I do not have photos of this, but there is video available here. And here is a token shot of our Baron and the Unipig, taken after the fight.

Next up for Bear Jesus in Wine Country: Role-Playing with the Napa Valley Role Playing Guild (or some of the members, anyways).

Bear Jesus' Pilgrimage

2008-04-11T19:19:00.000-07:00

Hi, I'm TXchick, and I don't have a podcast or a blog of my own. But, I've been posting on a certain message board with Venus and Nicole for years, and I volunteered to take our Ursine Savior on my Spring Break trip to Italy and France. (I'm a high school history teacher and my husband and I took 11 students on this trip. I can't remember when this sounded like a good idea, but it must have at some point.)

First stop, Rome.

Well, boys and girls, Rome was not kind to Bear Jesus. It had something to do with a bottle of Absinthe....

This was the night before we were supposed to go to the Vatican....

Let me tell you, it was not pretty. I went to bed long before BJ did, so I don't know details, but he did leave the hotel at some point.

The next morning we were supposed to meet BJ here by this sign to go to the Vatican Museum....

Here are the kids waiting....

And Bear Jesus never showed up. I was not happy, to say the least, and I was also a little worried, but he dragged his doughy ass back to the hotel late that afternoon and crashed for hours.

Here's an interesting bit of sculpture from the Vatican Museum.

And could this be the Pope himself?

Then, it was on to Florence. BJ has a special interest in Renaissance sculpture, as you can imagine! Here he is admiring the replica of Michelangelo's David that stands outside the Ufizzi Gallery in the Palazzo della Signoria.

The real David is housed in the Gallerie dell'Accademia, and they don't allow photography inside, so I had to take a shot of BJ posing with our ticket stub...

That night we took an overnight train from Rome to Paris. Here's a shot from the train...

It wasn't at all glamorous or roomy, but a bear's gotta do what a bear's gotta do, and this bear had to get from Italy to GAY PARIE!!!

The French are known for their cuisine, and BJ loved shopping at the open-air market for fresh produce and other goodies. We were all intrigued by this interesting variety of cauliflower...

And BJ just HAD to try on these fabulous furry boots...(He was actually in one of these boots; he slipped and fell down out of sight just before I snapped the shot.) Don't you love the bottle of wine sitting in the back of the truck?

The highlight of Paris, of course, is the Louvre, and BJ was very excited to get to see all the famous artwork. Here he is admiring the Mona Lisa. It was impossible to get close to it, due to the large number of people in the room. It was the same way last time I was at the Louvre, 22 years ago. You'd think the French could have figured out a better system in that time, but no.

BJ enjoyed his trip to Europe and came home exhausted and needing a few days in "rehab." As soon as the glue dried, I packed him off to California to visit Nicole's sister.

Ciao,
TXchick

Finally. It's a Miracle!

2008-04-06T08:00:00.001-07:00

It only took a few tries, but BJ finally managed to walk on water.
That is to say, Blogger FINALLY let me upload new photos! ok, no, they're not really new but they ARE new to y'all!
Right before our intrepid doughy messiah ventured forth from the Big Apple (Satan's Panty Drawer itself) and marched (or trucked; I don't really know what the USPS does when transporting deified ornaments), Bear Jesus was able to visit the home of one David B - of the Occasional Fag - for his birthday.

Bear Jesus is sideways! With a banana on his head! This guarantees it was a great party.

Chef Mark poses with BJ. No, Mark, he's not edible, he's edifying!

BJ cuts the cheese (you knew it was coming. Come on).

Ron, Mikeypod and Tim Corrimal shoot the breeze with BJ after he performs his best gay party miracle: turning water into tequila.

After a few Margs, BJ decided he would host a meet and greet in his home.

First up: his mother, Mary! Glowing in the dark! And also impossibly smaller than he. And not a bear. Don't ask how these things happen. One doesn't question the mysteries and majesties of the Great Bear.

BJ! and a bear! a real bear! hmm, that bear looks a little limp-wristed to me, if you know what I mean. I guess it's not too surprising. It is a gay, gay home

BJ with mother Mary full of Phosphorous, gay Bear, some little blue alien thing, Notre Dame Cathedral (BJ kept pretending he was King Kong around it ALL NIGHT! He's such a kidder, that Jesus), and a very, very strong margarita.

So that's the shizzle, y'all! I hope you enjoyed this true walk down memory lane as much as I did trying to remember it. Fortunately, BJ gifted me with total recall before he left. Naturally, the little bugger didn't tell me he meant he was gifting me with total recall of b-movies from the 60s.
Sally forth, or some such.

BJ Tours the Gayborhood!

2008-02-10T16:01:00.000-08:00

Today, I decided to take Bear Jesus down to what might just be THE original gayborhood: Greenwich Village.

First, we popped out of the subway in the “newish” gay mecca, Chelsea, 14th st and 8th ave. BJ marveled at the wealth of gay boys and their best girlfriends as we wandered the streets, gradually heading downtown into the heart of the Village.

*a gay gay gay men's spa is in that building there. And "New York's Finest" is speeding through the light en route to the Dunkin Donuts copper special.

One of the first things I wanted to do was introduce Bear Jesus to the LGBT Center. Unfortunately, there was no one there interested in a photo op with our ursine lord and savior.

Afterwards, I thought it would be appropriate to show BJ a couple of the unique places you can only visit when in New York.

And also

We stopped by infamous drag restaurant, Lips, but it, too, was shuttered for the day. Drag queens don't normally rouse themselves from slumber and make up their faces before 10 PM if you're lucky.

After missing our moment with some grad queens, we decided to do what Bear Jesus does best: browse "adult bookstores." We went to a fairly well-known one, where we got the glorious one a special gift or two.

yeah, the photo above isn't really connected to BJ in any real way, but isn't it filled with the tackiest stuff ever? All it's missing is a...Bear Jesus or something.

Now, the BJ is a big fan of Miss Carrie Bradshaw and will be first in line for Sex and the City when it hits the big screen. Naturally, we had to stop by Magnolia Bakery and grab a cupcake.

Whoops. On second thought, BJ said Mary Magdalene makes better than Magnolia. I think he was lying because he was definitely depressed when he saw that line.

We wandered by another great place but Jesus, not being a lesbian himself, couldn't get us in. Boo, I say.

BJ ALWAYS wanted to live in a posh Greenwich Village apartment complex with several of his best pals (you know, Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego?), sipping coffee and sharing quippy one liners. Since He shoulders the burden of all the sin throughout time, he can't do that. But we visited the next best thing: the apartment exterior of Monica and Chandler's building in Friends!!

Next it was time to visit the true gay mecca: Christopher Street!

*The gayest stop on the gay train to Gaysville

Christopher Square is home to the famous Stonewall Riots, set off when the second coming of Christ, or Judy Garland, died. When a bunch of homofagulous mourners gathered at the Stonewall Inn, police showed up to shut the place down for "not having a liquor license" (i.e. being all ok with the butsecks). The homos rioted and Jesus said "let them eat ecstasy." or something like that.

This is the gayest street intersection possibly since Do Me Ave. and Up the Butt St. were renamed.

BJ was feeling a little wild...WILDE, that is, so we went into one of the last gay bookstores around: the Oscar Wilde Bookshop.

I took it upon myself to artfully pose BJ with some of the fineries offered therein.

After all of this fun, it was time to relax for a few. Since BJ is all able to walk on water and such, he has no problem hoofing it around, but yours truly needed a break. And chocolate.
We sat down at Jacques Torres, who I named long ago "Chocolate Jesus," to have some chocolate and so I could decorate Mary Magdalene and give BJ his NYC souvenir.

I think Mary looks good with a prideful rendering of His Bearness, don't you?
As for BJ...I decided to give him something a little gay but which would still hit close to home, if you know what I mean.

It was a fun-filled day of gay for the Bear Jesus and I. I have enjoyed my time with him immensely. He seems to really enjoy NYC and all things gay so, ladies, you might have lost another one to the Homosexual Agenda! Don't cry.

Bear Jesus Takes It to the Polls!

2008-02-05T20:15:00.001-08:00

Today, Bear Jesus participated in that most lovely of American processes: the Presidential Primary.

I am totally breaking the law (breakin' the law, breakin' the law!) by shooting a candid photo of the polling place, but it's closed now, so hey. Plus, Jesus told me to.

We got into the voting booth and BJ instantly had a tough choice to make.

Would it be McCain? Or Huckabee. He does quote the Bible, after all. Ok, yeah, he quotes it to further his "marriage protecting, homo hating, anti-Jesus-pro-war" rhetoric, but he still says the name JESUS! A LOT! Tee-hee! Ergo, Christian.

Still, there's Barack Obama...and we all know Jesus was black, so now we're having a dilemma.

Wait! What's this? There's Hillary Clinton, Lucifaghag's avatar on Earth! Jesus does kind of owe Satan for all of that, "my dad needs you to be the nemesis and run Hell and torture people until I return and throw you in the lake of fire, too," so perhaps he should vote for her?

What to do.
What. To. Do.

Yay, democracy!
Also, go women!

30 Minute Meals With Bear Jesus

2008-02-03T14:35:00.000-08:00

BJ's at it again!

I made the two lovely margaritas above for me and my honey as I prepared to make lunch (mama needs tequila when she's in the kitchen, y'all). I took marg no. 1 into the living room to the BF and, when I returned...well, SOMEONE didn't bother with the water-into-wine thing.

Bad Bear Jesus! Not only did he drink half of it, but he did it on an empty stomach and passed right on out!
To make up for this, BJ promised he'd help me cook. Down below, he's diligently watching my butternut squash cook, waiting for that special moment when it's soft enough to mash into gnocchi.

I couldn't help but get into the action a bit myself, especially since BJ said that it would be a frivolous use of his miracle-making powers just to wave his hand and have instant lunch.

Still, he DOES know how to stir some squash!

YUMZ!!!LOLZKTHBI!!!!ELEVEN!!!!111!!!

The Holy One Arrives!

2008-02-02T06:47:00.000-08:00

After MANY fits and starts, His Holiness, the Bear Jesus, has arrived into NYC.
The lovely Taylor had carefully packaged and shipped BJ to my post office, conveniently located only a half block from my apartment. However, BJ's nemesis, Lucifaghag, had paid off his subjects in the local post office and the package wasn't available for pick up until this Monday.
Thanks to the location of my apartment to work, I could not get back in time each work day to pick up BJ.
Until TODAY!

I awoke this morning and grabbed BJ's parole form.

I headed out into the semi-cold (NYC has warmed a touch with the coming of BJ) and down the block to spring him from prison

(BJ had a very long stay here)

After waiting for the postal lady to get her Dunkin donut and coffee and dance with some other lady's package, I finally had BJ's cell in my hot little hands.

(No air holes! Praised be BJ that he doesn't need to breathe...those Asian meditation techniques even work for the Holy One!)

I ran back to the apartment to spring BJ from his box. No, I don't mean Mary Magdalene - she appears to be in fine shape, though.

(Mary has been tatted up)

I finally freed BJ and allowed him to breathe a little. All in all, he looks good for having been kept in prison for a week.

(BJ in repose)

(BJ meets the Boogs. It's not quite love at first sight.)

What's in store for BJ here in the Big Apple? Proselytizing in Times Square? Breaking a bialy with the Jews on the Lower East Side? Partying with the club twinks in Chelsea?
Stay tuned!

Furthering his quest for world domination

2008-01-29T14:14:00.001-08:00

Our Furry Savior has offered up his image that we might prosper*

http://www.cafepress.com/bearjesus

*prosper in the sense of making about fifty cents toward podcasting expenses. So maybe prosper not really the word. Anyway.

Ok, So A Final Day In Florida...

2008-01-23T14:45:00.000-08:00

Well, it's Bear Jesus's last day in the Sunshine State. He wanted to see downtown St. Pete, and so I took him to see our...um, beautiful...skyline. Ain't it grand?!?

Bear Jesus is standing in front of the Pier, one of our local Tourist Tra....uh, attractions. Shopping, mini-golf, fine dining...all under one roof - and that roof looks like an upside down pyramid.

Bear Jesus likes to take in the finer things in life. Here he is looking at a piece of art that overlooks Tampa Bay. he's questioning the asthetic qulaities while appreciating the artists passion of the sea Ahh, a last soaking in of the sun before going back in his box. It's mighty cold where he's going..Bear Jesus will miss palm trees most of all. But he's sure he will see more on his adventures. And if he doesn't, he'll just make some grow. I mean, come on...he IS Bear Jesus, after all...I am so glad to have been able to enjoy the Bear Jesus' company over the last few days. It's been fun finding places for him to go and things for him to see. I know that he is going to have a lot of fun with this guy here. And I know that said guy had a great idea for a place to take BJ when he gets into the Big Apple. If only I had thought of it first.

Take care, little buddy, go with Go....well, with yourself, I guess .Love,

Taylor

Oh! I Almost Forgot!!

2008-01-22T07:59:00.001-08:00

Bear Jesus now has fredom rings to go with his crown!

Bear Pride, People!

Woof!

Take Your Bear Jesus To Work Day

2008-01-22T07:46:00.000-08:00

So, yesterday was not a god day for Taylor, so Bear Jesus spent the day in his little condo away from home, sleeping in his pink blanket. Today, Taylor took Bear Jesus to see where he works, and show him off to the crowd. Bear Jesus knows that many of the people Taylor works with have a good and twisted sense of humor, so they wanted their picture taken with him.Bear Jesus also met the cute fairy wrestler and christmas pug who sit on Taylor's desk at work.
Bear Jesus would like to meet the children that Taylor works with, but Taylor likes his job and thinks that may be a little inappropriate, so Bear Jesus will have to wait in the car. He may go visit Taffy today, however, and will try and do a little more sightseeing before going off to his next adventure.

Ok, So A Lovely Sunday Evening.

2008-01-20T15:46:00.000-08:00

(can you see him?)

Hey all!

Taylor here, updating you all on that latest and greatest with our little Bear Jesus. He mentioned he wanted to go to the beach and see all that Pinellas County has to offer, so He and I went to Pass-A-Grille Beach, my favorite beach in the county. While most of the Pinellas County Shoreline is all condos, hotels and sundries, Pass-A-Grille is almost entirely residential, and still feels like a honest to goodness beach community. Here are some of the pics we took tonight watching the sunset and trying to avoid the sand. It was really windy!

Afterwards, we needed to warm up a bit, so we went to my favorite watering hole. You really didn't think Bear Jesus was going to meet Taylor the Latte Boy and NOT have a latte, did you?!?!

Tomorrow, he'll get some decorations for his box, and a treat to go with him to his next adventure! More pics to come!!!

The Travels Continue....To Saint Petersburg, Florida

2008-01-20T13:33:00.000-08:00

Yes, yes my brothers and sisters....I have made it to the west coast of the state of Florida, having been handed off by my decapitato....I mean my hosts, Michael and Kevin of Qcast Connections. I have been given to Taylor The Latte Boy and Taffy Carlisle Huffington of Pod Is My Copilot. Safely being driven to Saint Petersburg, I was met by Taylor's pugs, Otis and Rocco, who were not sure what to do with me at first. Needless to say, there was sniffing to be done...It was very cold in Saint Petersburg this morning. Well, cold for St. Pete, anyway. I decided to show my holiness WHILE showing the world what a chilly Florida morning looks like.

Of course, a Sunday morning would not be complete without me going to my favorite place or worship....

I also was fortunate enough to meet with a local celebrity. The Tampa Bay Buccaneer's Mike Alstott stopped by The Latte Boy's Place to "say hello." Taylor has an enourmous crush on Mr. Allstott and calls himself "Mrs. Alstott" from time to time.
WHAAAAT? WHO IS THIS? THE LORD BEAR JESUS DOES NOT NEED A WINGMAN! IT'S BAD ENOUGH YOU TRY AND COCKBLOCK THE REAL REASON FOR EASTER!!! OUT! OUT DAMNED BUNNY! OR FACE THE WRATH OF BEAR JESUS, YOU BLASPHEMER!!!

My apologies, my children. That bunny just makes me so mad....

Well, I am off, as Taylor has promised to take me to the beach! More later!

woof,

Bear Jesus in Orlando, Part 2

2008-01-18T17:02:00.000-08:00

Me: Hey, Bear Jesus! You just emptied our liquor cabinet and got a sunburn on your ass. What are you gonna do next?
BJ: I'm going to DisneyWorld!

And with that, we loaded up the car and headed for "The Most Magical Place on Earth". Having never been, His Holy Furriness got excited as we approached the gate to the Magic Kingdom.

Feeling He had a divine purpose, He asked that we visit the Haunted Mansion first. Perhaps He felt the need to cleanse some of the Happy Haunts there?

On the way in, He stopped and chatted with an old friend.

On the way out, He made some new ones.

Sadly, Splash Mountain was closed for refurbishing. This upset our Ursine Savior, as He hoped to check in on Brer Bear. So, a trip to Peter Pan's Flight was in order to raise His spirits. Alas and alack, PPF was too dark to capture the fun His Bruin-ness was having - so much fun, in fact, the He worked up quite an appetite for lunch.

After a bit of shopping, we all decided the crowds in the Magic Kingdom were un-BEAR-able (it being a holiday weekend and all), so we decided to head to Epcot. On the way out, BJ posed in front of Cinderella's Castle.

He even danced a bit: CLICK HERE!

And then it was on to Epcot!

On the way we had to, of course, capture Our Divine Grizzly in front of the "Big Ball"...

...which is, in reality, where Spaceship Earth is housed. Currently under renovation, SSE is occasionally opened to guests for dry-runs. Clearly, word had spread that Bear Jesus was enjoying Disney that day, so the seas parted and we were all able to take a ride. It really pays to know people.

After the ride, we perused the exhibits in both the Innoventions and Imagination pavilions. In the Imagination pavilion, BJ played around with the Kodak Picture Thingy, in which you take your photo, then add effects to it, and then it's supposed to be e-mailed... but we haven't received it yet. We then headed for shopping, and BJ picked up his first Disney souvenir - his own set of mouse ears.

We then headed to World Showcase to check out the updated Mexico ride. Note the mouse ears. He loves them so much, He refuses to let go of them. Disney has that effect on people.

Given our location (and His activities the prior evening), Bear Jesus wanted to stay and sample the many margaritas Mexico had to offer. We convinced him, however, that perhaps it was time to go so he could prepare Himself (and his box) for the next leg of his journey. And with that, BJ bid a fond farewell to his quick trip to DisneyWorld.

Bear Jesus in Orlando, Part 1

2008-01-17T20:57:00.001-08:00

It started out innocently enough. Bear Jesus arrived in Orlando safe and sound a few days ago and immediately claimed the most comfortable chair in the house. As is His right.

However, it seems His first night in a swinging bachelor pad (as opposed to the nuclear family units He's previously visited) was simply too much temptation for His Ursine-ness, and it wasn't long before He discovered the liquor cabinet. Things got out of control and He quite literally lost his head over the libations.

We Orlando disciples quickly sprung into action and set about mending the King of Kings, having to use rudimentary medical practices since we'd never been in contact with such Greatness before (and the supplies shipped with BJ didn't contain anything remotely adhesive...).

A (hopefully) successful surgery later, Bear Jesus was completely non-plussed by the injuries caused by His revelry and later decided a nude tanning session was in order to end His rather frantic day.

Tomorrow: Bear Jesus in DisneyWorld!

Bear Jesus and his stay in Cajun Country

2008-01-13T10:26:00.000-08:00

So BJ arrived from the Lone Star State with a little injury but after a quick ER trip he was good as new and got up to some serious shenanigans at my house. This bear has quite a wild streak!

Here is a little pictorial journey for you all to enjoy. I am going to try to get him wrapped and packed so he can head out on Monday morning to sunny Orlando, FL.

First BJ helped me out with some light office work, it was back to school last week after a holiday break.

BJ and Julian held a prayer vigil for my computer and we tried to fix it with a bew XP disc... but alas even the power of Bear Jesus was no match for my computer karma.

With the office work out of the way BJ decided he would try to commune with the local creatures. I'm not sure how well the taming of this beast went though, she looks less than thrilled.

Now, this may be a relationship I need to keep an eye on. She is a minor after all.

We tried to make BJ and comfy as possible during his stay.

O Hai, dis my cribz

He traveled around in style too, of course.

Though as with any child, I didn't approve of all of the friends he made. I'm not sure I want to know what kind of "ministering" he was doing with the Whores of Barbielon, either.

Oh my, a Mother never needs to see things like this.

He is being awfully forward with that little pony, oh my!

Finally after quite an eventful stay, it is time for BJ to go traveling on. We made his case just a little more fabulous. Note in the above pics, he now sports a pretty spiffy crown, only the best for our Ursine Saviour.

And so he set forth upon the land

2007-12-27T20:07:00.001-08:00

Bear Jesus, having spent the better part of a week preparing for his travels, is leaving on a jet plane. Don't know when he'll be back again...wait, what?

Anyway. He did verily spend several days lying naked and sticky while receiving his Holy Protective Sealant. He suffered for you.

One of his mommies gathered some supplies for him to take with him. In case of such emergency as needing hair extension repairs, etc. Don't let the lord thy bear go out looking less than fabulous.

Bear Jesus selected a tasteful yet strangely comforting box to keep him from harm during his journey. He encourages all of his faithful to leave their mark upon his box when he visiteth them.

Our ursine savior was not without trepidation about his upcoming trip. He is but salt and flour, after all.

Finally, relaxed and then some, he nestled into his Holy Box and set off for Mommy #2's house.

Let our thoughts be with him. Woof

Bear Jesus - Preparing for the Journey

2007-12-22T09:47:00.001-08:00

Born in the twisted minds of certain individuals, Bear Jesus came to his solid form on December 16, 2007.

Sporting his cotton robe and hemp sandals, he is ready to travel the world spreading his message. Of course, his message is simply "woof" but it still needs sharing.

He will spend the holidays at home with the hands that shaped him, and then head off to visit his other mommy. Yes, Bear Jesus has two mommies. Deal.

He will be available to travel and visit his faithful, you know who you are and a couple of you are already in line.

Here's looking forward to many fascinating adventures and photos.

Bear Jesus be with you?