Ski Day

It is finally ski day! I am so excited. Frig took me gear shopping and I had a custom board AND custom skis made. They are awesome!



We loaded the car and headed up early. I was really excited and didn't even let Frig finish her coffee. Here we are arriving at the ski resort, Keystone:Wow, gearing up takes a long time. After several adjustments I was finally ready to board! Here I am catching a ride!


The ride was great ride, but I narrowly missed that tree. That would have been somewhat painful and wet. I decided to switch to skis.

Frig caught me in action. Here I am near the top:


....and zooming by Frig and my adoring fans who stopped to watch:And....at the bottom of the hill! Skiing and Boarding are awesome! It helps to be somewhat holy and avoid all that troublesome falling!

Definitely worth the trip to CO!

Weekdays 9-5 or 5-whenever....

Hey There! Bear Jesus here to give a little update on my CO stay. I've had a pretty quiet week or so while we plan for our upcoming ski trip. I was getting a little bored, so I asked Frig to take me to work and show me around. It took 4 days before she had even a small chance to let me look at her cube. No wonder everyone grumbles about work. Very bad idea, this work stuff. I didn't stay long. Here I am:

Shopping and Miracles

Hello from sunny CO. It snowed last night, so I was hoping to get some skiing in, but only a few flakes fell and it was warm and windy all day. I had to settle for shopping. It's Frig's birthday today, so I was good with humoring her. I have to tell you though--I never thought I'd meet someone who liked purses as much as my Mom. If she was rich, she'd have a whole closet. Here I am in Frig's new purse. It was made of nice, nice leather--very soft and comfortable. I stayed there awhile. It felt good.
Since I am visiting, Frig decided to try to combine my saving powers with birthday luck. We picked up some scratch tickets and a Powerball ticket. Frig has no idea what she's doing with this Powerball stuff. Here I am blessing the tickets.
Ok, I tried my luck with Flying Aces. Sadly it was a bust.

I was just warming up. I moved on to Barrel of Monkeys. I know I can get her a winner here.




Crap, I busted again. Ok, I'll really get it right this time! 7*11*21. I like 11 and 21. I'm feeling lucky.

Well hell, I guess I'm going to have to work on this for a few days (maybe get a luckier quarter) and put all my woof-like powers into the Powerball Jackpot.......



....now about that ski trip...that should be coming up soon.

I have arrived!

In so very many ways.

I escaped the evil clutches of DJB, thanks to NNBM, my favorite person now.

I also (about time) have my own Holy Fan Crusade Club (or something) on Facebook. NNBM put some really awesome pictures of me up there.

I am now safely in the hands of Frig and am looking forward to our mountain adventures.

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Woof! The Ursine Savior has arrived!

Well, here I am at my new destination. Frig let me out of the box right away. I gloried in fresh air and showed her all my souvenirs. She was pretty busy on the first day. Kept muttering about needing a maid and getting things cleaned up so she could take me out and show me around this place called CO.

I decided to give her a hand.


That was exhausting. At least she cheated and took the baking out of the freezer. I'm really starting to get thirsty.

She let me rest near Buddha. We had a nice long chat and caught up on the last 2000 years while she cleaned the carpets.Next I met this cute dog, but she made me nervous, so after a quick photo op, I went back to the kitchen to hang out.


I did find the wine, but it's not afternoon yet. I don't understand this rule of no wine in the morning. It is a holy drink. I will have to talk this over with father later. I settled for a glass of water. Don't tell her, but I turned it into wine before I drank it.
Ok, I am so tired from all this domestic activity, I am taking a nap while she goes to meet some friends. I really need to talk to Dad about getting her a maid. I'll be back later.

Seriously people

South Carolina is not only So Gay, it So Sucks for holy artifact fun and adventure.

I'm dying of boredom. Someone save me. I will reward you with...uh...just fucking get me out of here. Anywhere.

The Lich King can bite my holy, salty ass

Get. Me. Out.

i talked to my dad

he was like, they better let you out of your box, or i'm going to get some old school wrath and vengeance going on.

seriously

help me

shhh don't tell them i'm posting

i arrived in a new place a few weeks ago

the weirdo here will not let me out of my box

help

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Bear Jesus takes part in two pagan rituals!

Okay, so I am obviously not on the net much or this would have been posted sooner. Here is a montage of some of the things Bear Jesus has been doing this summer. Unfortunately, some of the photos of his latest road trip are lost in the Bermuda Triangle of digital photos. I shall endeavor to find them before the next post.

So far BJ has participated in two pagan rituals - Beltane and a Fire Rite. The Fire Rite was a day long series of rituals to aid in calming the many wildfires rampaging through Northern California.

At the Beltane ritual Bear Jesus was honored to take the role of the god for the ceremonies.



After he proudly took his place on the altar, the ritual commenced.



As part of his duties for the ceremony, BJ was asked to bless the ancestral offerings.



One of the offerings got a little frisky and managed to mount BJ.



Then he was to aid the coven members in fulfilling the blessings we asked for by setting fire to them.



Our Ursine Saviour had a great time performing his duties, and was only disappointed that he did not get to perform The Great Rite.
________________________________

At the more recent Fire Rite, Bear Jesus was again a participant. Before we began, BJ paid special honor to the Green Man, and asked him to bless the ritual with success.



Bear Jesus gave the rituals a power boost by adding his energies to those of the coven members. Here is a shot of BJ on the altar.



In the section of ritual dealing with fire, Bear Jesus attempted to sacrifice himself.



We assured him this was not necessary and plucked him from the cauldron.



Freshly saved, BJ tried to perform another miracle by turning water into wine.



Which didn't quite work out this time. (But Bear Jesus was successful in resurrecting a cat named Vlad earlier this summer. You see, I got a call that my friend's cat had been hit by a car and she was going to have a burial for him before she had to go to work. So I rushed over to support her, and BJ was along for the ride. We had just got everything set up for the funeral. The hole was dug, offerings placed, the deceased wrapped in a blankie and soft music playing in the background when.... Vlad walked right into the middle of the grave site and began cleaning himself. There are no photos of the miracle, as is usually the case, but we continue to thank Bear Jesus to this day. Long live Bear Jesus, Patron Saint of Dead and Undead Black Cats!)

The Fire Rite continued throughout the day and was a very positive experience. BJ took some time at the end to thank the goddess and god (symbolized by the figurine and dragon behind him) for their aid and the circle was opened.



We ended the evening by gathering in the hot tub for a rain chant. Bear Jesus wanted to join us, and after a few modifications he jumped right in!






He may have needed help getting back out, but he sure enjoyed his first dunking!



(Just so you know, he was double bagged for this adventure. So be sure to protect him if you try this at home!)



Next up, BJ helps out at a yard sale and takes a road trip to Reno!

Bear Jesus Saves, Everyone Else Takes 5d6 Damage

After recovering from a little too much sun at the Championship, Bear Jesus was ready to take on the world. Or at least the imaginary one of the Dungeons and Dragons universe. He joined several members of the Napa Valley Role Playing Guild, as well as a few other gamers, for a night of mayhem, madness and wanton destruction. The game is a regular one and the party was a little nervous to be in such singular company. Naturally, BJ tried to persuade us to let him be Dungeon Master. He argued he was the most naturally qualified for the job. And he promised not to kill us (something our regular DM would never do).




Although presented with such an opportunity to see a true Master at work, our intrepid DM chose to forgo that option. After all, this was his turn to play god. Next, BJ tried to play an Epic Level character. Specifically, the Risen Martyr Prestige Class from the Book of Exalted Deeds. Bear Jesus had his hopes up, because he really wanted to use the big dice.




Alas, he was again told no. He was going to have to play a character of equal standing to the group. Otherwise, there might be some ganging up by the party members to "take care" of him in game.



Unfortunately, we are all levels 3-5. And new players start at the current lowest player level. So Bear Jesus was going to end up playing a piddly Level 3 Cleric. This did not make our venerated guest happy and the minis were cowering in fear on the battle mat.



But BJ rolled a natural 20 on his Diplomacy Check! The minis stopped their quaking, and our illustrious DM graciously allowed Bear Jesus to play an NPC (non-player-character). He would be a higher level than the rest of us, but wouldn't earn any XP (experience points).



The game went on and everyone began to relax around BJ. He provided incalculable assistance and helped raise the party's morale.



By the end of the gaming session, Bear Jesus had really developed a fondness for the Dice. So he decided to talk to his Dad about this method of determining fate. I can only assumed he did so the next time he prayed. Have you been hearing the sound of dice rolling lately?



Next up, a story of BJ's first real miracle and Beltane ritual (no, they did not happen together). In the meantime, sit back, relax and enjoy a nice glass of your favorite wine.

Bear Jesus in Wine Country

So, my sister Nicole is one of the folks who started this whole thing. I have been looking forward to showing Bear Jesus a few of the things we do for fun out here. (Please keep in mind myself and my friends are all deviant geeks who love to play make-believe.) So, BJ has finally made it to my place in beautiful Napa Valley. While visiting, a few of the things God's Own Cub will participate in: the Vinhold Baronial Championship, a wine tasting, much Dungeons and Dragons role-playing, and a Beltane ritual.

Let's start with the Vinhold Baronial Championship, held this past April at Kennedy Park in Napa. First, BJ had to sign in and pay his site fee. Of course, this being Bear Jesus and all, his site fee was graciously covered by others.

Oh yeah, since the theme for this year's Championship was "Viking Raid!", BJ is sporting a lovely, handmade, shiny Viking Helmet. Which was harder to make than it might look, since he's a little, well, flat. Let's just say much duct tape was involved.

While visiting with the Constable, Bear Jesus got to learn a new pirate game called "Shut the Box".

Unfortunately, he won. Several times. The Constable was not happy.

Rest assured, BJ came away unscathed. The Constable would never truly hurt him. Unless he had a campfire and no fire extinguisher, or the fire wasn't at least 12" off the ground, or many other valid reasons for the Constable to be unhappy.

Here are a few of the wonderful Vinhold Scadians who had the honor of meeting and touching Bear Jesus.

The Lovely Alianora of Prymrose

Enchanting Aurelia de Montfort

and the Sensual Collette de Navarre

BJ got to participate in most of the activities that day. He helped the winning team in the Siege Cooking competition. His aid was, of course, essential to their win.

Bear Jesus helped set up the pigs for the Pig Spearing Contest.

And got to take an honorary shot at spearing one of the porcine offenders. It was a little surprised that Bear Jesus would spear it there. (Note: no actual pigs were harmed in any way, other than the ones we had as bacon at breakfast.)

And finally, BJ was witness to most spectacular event - the Great Fight Between James, Bearon of Vinhold and The Purple Sparkly Unipig of Doom! Unfortunately I do not have photos of this, but there is video available here. And here is a token shot of our Baron and the Unipig, taken after the fight.



Next up for Bear Jesus in Wine Country: Role-Playing with the Napa Valley Role Playing Guild (or some of the members, anyways).