South Carolina is not only So Gay, it So Sucks for holy artifact fun and adventure.
I'm dying of boredom. Someone save me. I will reward you with...uh...just fucking get me out of here. Anywhere.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Monday, November 17, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
i talked to my dad
he was like, they better let you out of your box, or i'm going to get some old school wrath and vengeance going on.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
shhh don't tell them i'm posting
i arrived in a new place a few weeks ago
the weirdo here will not let me out of my box
help
the weirdo here will not let me out of my box
help
Blogged with the Flock Browser
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Bear Jesus takes part in two pagan rituals!
Okay, so I am obviously not on the net much or this would have been posted sooner. Here is a montage of some of the things Bear Jesus has been doing this summer. Unfortunately, some of the photos of his latest road trip are lost in the Bermuda Triangle of digital photos. I shall endeavor to find them before the next post.
So far BJ has participated in two pagan rituals - Beltane and a Fire Rite. The Fire Rite was a day long series of rituals to aid in calming the many wildfires rampaging through Northern California.
At the Beltane ritual Bear Jesus was honored to take the role of the god for the ceremonies.
After he proudly took his place on the altar, the ritual commenced.
As part of his duties for the ceremony, BJ was asked to bless the ancestral offerings.
One of the offerings got a little frisky and managed to mount BJ.
Then he was to aid the coven members in fulfilling the blessings we asked for by setting fire to them.
Our Ursine Saviour had a great time performing his duties, and was only disappointed that he did not get to perform The Great Rite.
________________________________
At the more recent Fire Rite, Bear Jesus was again a participant. Before we began, BJ paid special honor to the Green Man, and asked him to bless the ritual with success.
Bear Jesus gave the rituals a power boost by adding his energies to those of the coven members. Here is a shot of BJ on the altar.
In the section of ritual dealing with fire, Bear Jesus attempted to sacrifice himself.
We assured him this was not necessary and plucked him from the cauldron.
Freshly saved, BJ tried to perform another miracle by turning water into wine.
Which didn't quite work out this time. (But Bear Jesus was successful in resurrecting a cat named Vlad earlier this summer. You see, I got a call that my friend's cat had been hit by a car and she was going to have a burial for him before she had to go to work. So I rushed over to support her, and BJ was along for the ride. We had just got everything set up for the funeral. The hole was dug, offerings placed, the deceased wrapped in a blankie and soft music playing in the background when.... Vlad walked right into the middle of the grave site and began cleaning himself. There are no photos of the miracle, as is usually the case, but we continue to thank Bear Jesus to this day. Long live Bear Jesus, Patron Saint of Dead and Undead Black Cats!)
The Fire Rite continued throughout the day and was a very positive experience. BJ took some time at the end to thank the goddess and god (symbolized by the figurine and dragon behind him) for their aid and the circle was opened.
We ended the evening by gathering in the hot tub for a rain chant. Bear Jesus wanted to join us, and after a few modifications he jumped right in!
He may have needed help getting back out, but he sure enjoyed his first dunking!
(Just so you know, he was double bagged for this adventure. So be sure to protect him if you try this at home!)
Next up, BJ helps out at a yard sale and takes a road trip to Reno!
So far BJ has participated in two pagan rituals - Beltane and a Fire Rite. The Fire Rite was a day long series of rituals to aid in calming the many wildfires rampaging through Northern California.
At the Beltane ritual Bear Jesus was honored to take the role of the god for the ceremonies.
After he proudly took his place on the altar, the ritual commenced.
As part of his duties for the ceremony, BJ was asked to bless the ancestral offerings.
One of the offerings got a little frisky and managed to mount BJ.
Then he was to aid the coven members in fulfilling the blessings we asked for by setting fire to them.
Our Ursine Saviour had a great time performing his duties, and was only disappointed that he did not get to perform The Great Rite.
________________________________
At the more recent Fire Rite, Bear Jesus was again a participant. Before we began, BJ paid special honor to the Green Man, and asked him to bless the ritual with success.
Bear Jesus gave the rituals a power boost by adding his energies to those of the coven members. Here is a shot of BJ on the altar.
In the section of ritual dealing with fire, Bear Jesus attempted to sacrifice himself.
We assured him this was not necessary and plucked him from the cauldron.
Freshly saved, BJ tried to perform another miracle by turning water into wine.
Which didn't quite work out this time. (But Bear Jesus was successful in resurrecting a cat named Vlad earlier this summer. You see, I got a call that my friend's cat had been hit by a car and she was going to have a burial for him before she had to go to work. So I rushed over to support her, and BJ was along for the ride. We had just got everything set up for the funeral. The hole was dug, offerings placed, the deceased wrapped in a blankie and soft music playing in the background when.... Vlad walked right into the middle of the grave site and began cleaning himself. There are no photos of the miracle, as is usually the case, but we continue to thank Bear Jesus to this day. Long live Bear Jesus, Patron Saint of Dead and Undead Black Cats!)
The Fire Rite continued throughout the day and was a very positive experience. BJ took some time at the end to thank the goddess and god (symbolized by the figurine and dragon behind him) for their aid and the circle was opened.
We ended the evening by gathering in the hot tub for a rain chant. Bear Jesus wanted to join us, and after a few modifications he jumped right in!
He may have needed help getting back out, but he sure enjoyed his first dunking!
(Just so you know, he was double bagged for this adventure. So be sure to protect him if you try this at home!)
Next up, BJ helps out at a yard sale and takes a road trip to Reno!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Bear Jesus Saves, Everyone Else Takes 5d6 Damage
After recovering from a little too much sun at the Championship, Bear Jesus was ready to take on the world. Or at least the imaginary one of the Dungeons and Dragons universe. He joined several members of the Napa Valley Role Playing Guild, as well as a few other gamers, for a night of mayhem, madness and wanton destruction. The game is a regular one and the party was a little nervous to be in such singular company. Naturally, BJ tried to persuade us to let him be Dungeon Master. He argued he was the most naturally qualified for the job. And he promised not to kill us (something our regular DM would never do).
Although presented with such an opportunity to see a true Master at work, our intrepid DM chose to forgo that option. After all, this was his turn to play god. Next, BJ tried to play an Epic Level character. Specifically, the Risen Martyr Prestige Class from the Book of Exalted Deeds. Bear Jesus had his hopes up, because he really wanted to use the big dice.
Alas, he was again told no. He was going to have to play a character of equal standing to the group. Otherwise, there might be some ganging up by the party members to "take care" of him in game.
Unfortunately, we are all levels 3-5. And new players start at the current lowest player level. So Bear Jesus was going to end up playing a piddly Level 3 Cleric. This did not make our venerated guest happy and the minis were cowering in fear on the battle mat.
But BJ rolled a natural 20 on his Diplomacy Check! The minis stopped their quaking, and our illustrious DM graciously allowed Bear Jesus to play an NPC (non-player-character). He would be a higher level than the rest of us, but wouldn't earn any XP (experience points).
The game went on and everyone began to relax around BJ. He provided incalculable assistance and helped raise the party's morale.
By the end of the gaming session, Bear Jesus had really developed a fondness for the Dice. So he decided to talk to his Dad about this method of determining fate. I can only assumed he did so the next time he prayed. Have you been hearing the sound of dice rolling lately?
Next up, a story of BJ's first real miracle and Beltane ritual (no, they did not happen together). In the meantime, sit back, relax and enjoy a nice glass of your favorite wine.
Although presented with such an opportunity to see a true Master at work, our intrepid DM chose to forgo that option. After all, this was his turn to play god. Next, BJ tried to play an Epic Level character. Specifically, the Risen Martyr Prestige Class from the Book of Exalted Deeds. Bear Jesus had his hopes up, because he really wanted to use the big dice.
Alas, he was again told no. He was going to have to play a character of equal standing to the group. Otherwise, there might be some ganging up by the party members to "take care" of him in game.
Unfortunately, we are all levels 3-5. And new players start at the current lowest player level. So Bear Jesus was going to end up playing a piddly Level 3 Cleric. This did not make our venerated guest happy and the minis were cowering in fear on the battle mat.
But BJ rolled a natural 20 on his Diplomacy Check! The minis stopped their quaking, and our illustrious DM graciously allowed Bear Jesus to play an NPC (non-player-character). He would be a higher level than the rest of us, but wouldn't earn any XP (experience points).
The game went on and everyone began to relax around BJ. He provided incalculable assistance and helped raise the party's morale.
By the end of the gaming session, Bear Jesus had really developed a fondness for the Dice. So he decided to talk to his Dad about this method of determining fate. I can only assumed he did so the next time he prayed. Have you been hearing the sound of dice rolling lately?
Next up, a story of BJ's first real miracle and Beltane ritual (no, they did not happen together). In the meantime, sit back, relax and enjoy a nice glass of your favorite wine.
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