First, we popped out of the subway in the “newish” gay mecca, Chelsea, 14th st and 8th ave. BJ marveled at the wealth of gay boys and their best girlfriends as we wandered the streets, gradually heading downtown into the heart of the Village.
*a gay gay gay men's spa is in that building there. And "New York's Finest" is speeding through the light en route to the Dunkin Donuts copper special.
One of the first things I wanted to do was introduce Bear Jesus to the LGBT Center. Unfortunately, there was no one there interested in a photo op with our ursine lord and savior.
Afterwards, I thought it would be appropriate to show BJ a couple of the unique places you can only visit when in New York.
And also
We stopped by infamous drag restaurant, Lips, but it, too, was shuttered for the day. Drag queens don't normally rouse themselves from slumber and make up their faces before 10 PM if you're lucky.
After missing our moment with some grad queens, we decided to do what Bear Jesus does best: browse "adult bookstores." We went to a fairly well-known one, where we got the glorious one a special gift or two.
yeah, the photo above isn't really connected to BJ in any real way, but isn't it filled with the tackiest stuff ever? All it's missing is a...Bear Jesus or something.
Now, the BJ is a big fan of Miss Carrie Bradshaw and will be first in line for Sex and the City when it hits the big screen. Naturally, we had to stop by Magnolia Bakery and grab a cupcake.
Whoops. On second thought, BJ said Mary Magdalene makes better than Magnolia. I think he was lying because he was definitely depressed when he saw that line.
We wandered by another great place but Jesus, not being a lesbian himself, couldn't get us in. Boo, I say.
BJ ALWAYS wanted to live in a posh Greenwich Village apartment complex with several of his best pals (you know, Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego?), sipping coffee and sharing quippy one liners. Since He shoulders the burden of all the sin throughout time, he can't do that. But we visited the next best thing: the apartment exterior of Monica and Chandler's building in Friends!!
Next it was time to visit the true gay mecca: Christopher Street!
*The gayest stop on the gay train to Gaysville
Christopher Square is home to the famous Stonewall Riots, set off when the second coming of Christ, or Judy Garland, died. When a bunch of homofagulous mourners gathered at the Stonewall Inn, police showed up to shut the place down for "not having a liquor license" (i.e. being all ok with the butsecks). The homos rioted and Jesus said "let them eat ecstasy." or something like that.
This is the gayest street intersection possibly since Do Me Ave. and Up the Butt St. were renamed.
BJ was feeling a little wild...WILDE, that is, so we went into one of the last gay bookstores around: the Oscar Wilde Bookshop.
I took it upon myself to artfully pose BJ with some of the fineries offered therein.
After all of this fun, it was time to relax for a few. Since BJ is all able to walk on water and such, he has no problem hoofing it around, but yours truly needed a break. And chocolate.
We sat down at Jacques Torres, who I named long ago "Chocolate Jesus," to have some chocolate and so I could decorate Mary Magdalene and give BJ his NYC souvenir.
I think Mary looks good with a prideful rendering of His Bearness, don't you?
As for BJ...I decided to give him something a little gay but which would still hit close to home, if you know what I mean.
It was a fun-filled day of gay for the Bear Jesus and I. I have enjoyed my time with him immensely. He seems to really enjoy NYC and all things gay so, ladies, you might have lost another one to the Homosexual Agenda! Don't cry.
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